Tag Archives: Travel

The Circle of Laziness

10 Jul

I always find myself the most inspired when I’m dead tired and about three seconds from giving up on getting off the couch and going to my own bed. It’s usually around 1 am when I get a song lyric I wanna turn into a whole song or a thought I want to ambitiously turn into an entire novel. Yet when it comes to actually completing these goals, I convince myself that I’ll do it in the morning when I have more time and I’m not this tired. But every morning I wake up, desperate for coffee, and oblivious to my major life changing plans from the night before.It’s the curse of being a procrastinator. And until there is a cure, the lazy side and ambitious side of me will fight forever.

I was listening to Anna Sun by Walk the Moon today on repeat while driving to and from work and all I could think about was wanting to write a song like that. Or live a life like that. “We rattled this town. We rattled this scene”. It makes me think of being a reckless teenager and living in a constant summer and I thought, there has to be a way to live like that. To do what you want, be reckless, worry-free, and travel anywhere and everywhere. The idea of going to school for the next two years, graduating, getting a full time job, getting my own place, settling down, living only for the weekends, eventually having kids, etc. is NAUSEATING. The job part is what freaks me out the most. Maybe it’s the laziness coming back into effect here but it’s also the idea that I have no clue what I want my career to be so for now, all I can picture is working a job I hate to pay bills and never have any free time for myself. Why is the idea of road tripping forever and just going wherever you feel like going so impossible. It’s a fantasy. But why?? Why does it have to be like that? You go to school for basically 2 decades so you can get a job to pay for bills and be an adult and get married and have kids and pay for them and then you die. Obviously, it’s a lot more complicated than all that, but that’s basically how I’ve interpreted it all. I wish I was more like everyone else I’ve met at school. I wish I wanted to be a nurse or a lawyer or a teacher. I wish the idea of finding a career and working till I’m old and wrinkly was the only option I’d ever seen. Instead, I have this crazy idea that there has GOT to be an alternative. There has to be another way to do things. Maybe I’m in the wrong decade. I’m starting to feel like a full blown hippie. But is it that crazy to desperately want a life completely devoid of what’s expected of us? Image