Tag Archives: ex

When Your Ex Moves On

30 Sep

There’s really no way to predict when this is going to happen. All you know is that it will. You tell yourself that you’ll be prepared. It’s not actually going to hurt that much, right? It’s been so long; you’re completely over it! In fact, you’ve managed to actually be friends, even if there is still some weird sexual tension between the two of you. You don’t ever think that it’s going to feel like breaking up part two. You think, “I’ll be ready for it when it eventually happens”. Because “eventually” is so far away and time heals all. That’s what you tell yourself.

But you forget that breaking up is one of the most awkward things we have to deal with as emotional beings. You pick another human that you click with and push through the slightly awkward phase of discovering who that person really is. You go from sweating bullets as you try to think up more conversation starters over dinner to talking nonstop over a pint of ice cream in front of a movie on a Tuesday night together. You laugh together about that awkward yet awesome night when you first really talked to each other and ended up talking all night. You laugh about how his roommate was so welcoming to you the next morning and made breakfast as you subtly tried to hint that you honestly just fell asleep last night. You laugh because you could never picture it being that awkward between you two ever again. You’ve made it so far and you know everything about one another. It’s hard to remember what it was like when you didn’t know what to say around him.

Then it happens. You have no idea what to say as you’re at the same party as him and he suddenly disappears. You brush it off. He’s probably just getting some air outside. Then you notice some freshman on the same sports club as the two of you is also missing. But that’s just a coincidence. There’s no way he’s talking and making out with some new club member in his room at a party at his house just like the night the two of you first talked. There’s no way.

You go out to get some air and the tears just start pouring. Why are you so upset? You’ve been broken up for months. You’ve managed to build a friendship. You should be happy for them, right? But all you can think about is how this girl is acting out a story from your past and she doesn’t even know it. But you do. And everything that was sacred and special and a memory only the two of you shared, is no longer any of that. So you put on a brave face and make the stupid decision of going to his room because your keys are there and you need to leave ASAP. She’s on his bed and he’s holding the door slightly open, looking guilty. And you realize that this is breaking up part two. The part where someone else comes into the picture. The part where one of you moves on before the other. You just hoped, selfishly, that it would be you to move on first. Or you hoped, at least, that you wouldn’t be there when it happened. But you are and it did and after a night and a day of crying, you take a shaky sigh of exhaustion and relief and let yourself close another chapter in your life.